Reflections on “Bridgerton” (Season 2) by a Relationship and Sex Therapist
Confession: just like many of you, I binged the new season of “Bridgerton” over a two day period last weekend. I had a lot of feelings about the first season, so I was especially anxious to dive into this one. I had a lot of reflections about this season, and do not read this if you don’t want any spoilers!
Love Story
I very much appreciated a different approach to this season's love story (forbidden love vs. an outdated trope of a wounded man gets saved by a wholesome woman).
Forbidden and taboo sex as well as passion and romance are each noted as a top 10 fantasy by most adults taken by a study at the Kinsey Institute by Justin Lehmiller.
Many single people struggle with picking a partner who is "good on paper" versus someone they actually have chemistry with and an intellectual connection.
Anthony approaches marriage as a family obligation as opposed to something he can be personally fulfilled by, hence why he goes for the "diamond" of the season (aka Edwina). The audience clearly sees his chemistry and intellectual connection with Kate, but he has been taught for so long to avoid his feelings, that this creates inner turmoil for him. (What he's "supposed to do" vs what he wants)
Many women are taught that they need to be a chameleon in order to find a partner. It's better to be agreeable and have a partner than be single and alone. (This is NOT true if that wasn't clear.)
Men are often taught to find the prettiest woman who is least likely to put them in their place or have boundaries as opposed to finding an intellectual and emotional equal. (And to be clear: Edwina and Kate are both stunning and multi-faceted women.)
Family Roles and Trauma
Eldest siblings can easily become parentified, especially when a parent dies (or is negligent, abusive, or emotionally/ physically unavailable).
Both Anthony and Kate have parental roles in their families which creates an enormous burden on their growth and tapping into their wants, needs, and desires. When you have more of a parental role in your family, it can feel selfish or frivolous to pursue things just because it feels good or you want to.
Seeing a parent die suddenly in front of you is extraordinarily traumatic. Anthony never got to properly grieve his father's death because he immediately had to become the leader of the home and start making impossible decisions for his family.
The trauma and grief he experienced becomes even more complex and challenging because he is not given space to grieve, immediately takes on familial duties, and then gets the message he's not allowed to talk about what happened or his mother will emotionally break. He also may be grieving both of his parents since he felt an attachment injury with his mother when he saw her reaction to his father's passing.
Kate also has a complicated role in her family since she has been adopted into her family with no bio parents around. Kate feels she has to "earn" her way into the family to be loved and accepted by giving up herself to be sure her sister finds a match and saves the family financially.
Many adopted children feel that they have to be perfect in order to be loved in the family, and there's a deep-seeded fear that they will be returned if they're bad or not loved as much.
Once Kate and Anthony begin to process more of their grief and attachment trauma, they begin to feel the weight of their repressed emotions begin to lift. (This is true IRL too, but obviously not as quickly.)
A big part in both of their family healing is when their mothers take ownership of their parts in the trauma: when Lady Bridgerton realizes that her grief made it challenging for Anthony to grieve and process, and when Lady Mary Sharma reassures Kate that she is equally loved in the family and doesn't need to prove her place.
Family roles are very challenging to break out of, and I’m glad we also got to see some character development from Edwina too. Throughout the season, it’s clear she’s under a lot of pressure to be perfect and people-pleasing to find a husband, and it’s not until she’s forced to really look at her true feelings about Anthony does she realize what SHE wants.
Intimacy (aka Hello Smoldering Eye Contact)
This season was much less focused on the sexual relationship of the two main characters, and it was more of a slow burn of sultry glances and heavy breathing (not going to complain though).
There were *plenty* of intimate moments between the two characters that aren't as overt as the first season, such as the bee sting scene when the two practice co-regulating and grounding tools together to help Antony's panic attack. Kate sees a much more vulnerable side to Anthony and helps ground him in a very triggering moment, which is deeply intimate for a character such as Anthony.
We saw Anthony’s difficulty with intimacy in the season prior. When you’ve experienced attachment trauma, or losing a parent in such a traumatic way, it can be hard to pair being sexual with having intimacy and closeness. Anthony has a deep fear of losing another loved one or causing a loved one to hurt over losing him, so it’s easier for him to have more casual relationships that aren’t as intimate. Basically, the more you’re invested, the more pain you may experience.
The love story being more of a slow burn also shows that this is more than just a lustful connection and the two are building trust before they even pursue their romantic connection.
True chemistry often has nothing to do with how someone looks or the qualities they have “on paper”. While both Kate and Edwina are beautiful women with admirable characteristics, Anthony has much more chemistry (physical, intellectual, and emotional) with Kate.
I truly appreciated that the sex scene was centered around her pleasure, which is too often skipped in mainstream media and porn.
Did I personally want more sex scenes? Yes, but I'll live.
South Asian Representation
Can we take a moment to soak in what a big deal this is?!
To have South Asian women depicted as the heroines in an extremely popular (and sexy) show is groundbreaking. It shouldn't be, but it is.
The show did a wonderful job of incorporating Indian culture without it being too in your face or using harmful stereotypes.
It's also such a win that Kate was seen as beautiful and desirable without fetishizing her. This is also especially a big deal since Simone Ashley, the actress who plays Kate, has a darker skin tone than most South Asian actresses seen in both Hollywood and Bollywood.
I am NOT an expert on this, but check out these resources/ people if you’d like a South Asian person’s perspective on the show: Prerna Abbi-Scanlon (she/ they has a Highlight on “Bridgerton”), this Buzzfeed article, and many more articles online.
